“There is nothing quite like the pain of being hurt by the
church.” This is what my new pastor
acknowledged to me when I first visited him after leaving the church where my
husband and I raised our boys and served for over fifteen years. Boy was he correct -- there really is nothing
quite like the pain of being hurt and disappointed within the Body of
Christ. It is disorienting and confusing
to say the least.
I’ve concluded over the three and a half years since we
moved on that, at times, the church can be an odd place. First a disclaimer: I love the church! I was raised in an active, loving congregation
and, with the exception of a year or two as a young adult, have been a member
of a local body my whole life. In spite
of the heartache, I truly believe it is the place where God wants us to serve
and impact others for the sake of the Gospel. The church is an equipping station where we
learn and grow – then drive off the church parking lot to go out where our ‘real
ministry’ begins.
However, as they say, the church is made up of humans (myself
included) and we simply do not do conflict well. We become so close to one another through all
the ups and downs of life -- and then get upset because we do not know how to
let people go when God is clearly calling them elsewhere. The brother’s and sister’s relationship is
severed, and then we have to start all over again with a new group of believers. Is really this how God wants it to be? How can we do this without getting hurt or
hurting those we are leaving behind? Why
can’t we be more kingdom minded and understand we are all on the same team -- no
matter whose bench we are sitting on?
There is a deeper question: How to do we learn to trust
fellow Christians again?
I would say that we first always need to look at ourselves
and the part we have played in any conflict. Just like in a marriage, there are times when
it takes two to get to the breaking point.
I am confident that when we ask God to show us our sin, He is faithful
to answer. It is from that posture of
humility that we can then ask Him to help us forgive, heal and trust again.
Do not abandon the church!
I do not mean to make light of this by giving a simple
answer -- but I know that the Lord has chosen the Body of Christ, His bride, to
meet together regularly to be the incubator for growing, developing Christians. Just in case we are tempted to think we don’t
need the incubator anymore, ponder this quote by an unknown author that
declares “If you’re not growing, you’re dead!”
Hebrews 10:25 states, “
And let us not neglect our meeting together, as some people do, but encourage
one another, especially now that the day of his return is drawing near”.
It is important for us to not confuse God with the behaviors
of His children. In truth, people are
always more helpful than harmful. Grace filled,
loving, and forgiving people can be found in most every church. Seek them out!
Spend time with them! Keep
searching until you find them and be one yourself! The church is God’s idea and He protects it
faithfully -- even though He is often saddened by its behavior.
Have you been hurt and are fearful of trusting again? Take heart, dear sister. Begin today by knowing that this can be a
maturing experience and in the end bring you to a deeper walk with your Savior.
During my season of hurt and confusion
it was a sweet surprise to discover that, during that time, my husband and I
had only Jesus to fellowship with. I wouldn't trade that time for anything. Matthew
11:28-30 comes to mind when I think back on those days when our hearts were heavy:
“Come to me, all you who are weary and
burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me,
for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For
my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”
Much love to you all~
Laura
Our church is doing a church-wide study on the church of Antioch. Your devotion reminds me of a verse in Acts 8. It's the first verse that says "and all except the apostles were scattered throughout Judea and Samaria." Maybe we aren't called to stay in the same place forever. I'm not saying everyone should leave their church and find a new one, but we have an example where God allowed this "scattering" of his flock. Maybe, just maybe, He has allowed certain situations to scatter us, too.
ReplyDeleteLove your comment Mary Beth and thank you for the response! I do agree with you and the scripture you gave was running through my head as I wrote the post last night. There is no doubt that there are times when we are called to "pay it forward" and take what we have learned to a new place. That has been part of our experience.
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