It’s been almost a year now that I broke up with a man that
I had dated for nearly 4 years. The person that I was so sure God brought into
my life. It’s been a year of grieving.
It’s also the year that I turned 50. Yes, the big five-O! Over this past year I have gained about 10
lbs. and felt old and frumpy. I have used food and drink to fill up not only my
empty places left from the rejection of a man, and the loneliness from lack of
companionship, but also to fill up the celebratory moments and days of fun that
I used to share with a companion.
Turning 50 also hit me hard -- unlike any other age. I’m grieving that I’ve come this far in life
and should be a seasoned, mature
adult, starting to mentor those younger than me and “have it all together”, yet
I still feel like a young single mom (who still lives in a house without a
garage), when other’s my age are starting to have fun with their spouses again
now that the children are leaving the nest, looking expectantly at their years
of retirement, furthering their education, doing more volunteer work etc.
But as I was reading in Lysa Terkeurst’s “Unglued” this
morning, I have learned that I have labeled myself “Old and Unwanted”. (There
are no “WANTED” posters in my hope chest!) I have lost my hope and have
rejected that Jeremiah 29:11 was meant for my life also. “For I know the plans that I have for you”,
declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you
hope and a future.”
As Lysa points out, I can choose to view my
circumstances as a call to action. I am
God’s workmanship and his Word says that he is faithful to complete the work he
has started. He is chiseling me and
releasing me from my hard and defeated places and I can choose or not choose to
work with him in that.
In Ephesians it says that we are created in Christ Jesus to
do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do. So as Lysa says, He
knows best how to prepare in us the character we need to fulfill our calling.
(I just wish He’d get it over with! LOL!)
So today I am declaring that I choose to take action. (Actually for me it was a couple of days
ago), but I am choosing to watch my diet more closely, to be more conscious of
my empty places, and to turn to Jesus to fill them. To
turn to Him immediately, not as a last resort, but to actively seek Him when I’m feeling empty. I don’t want to live in defeat. In
Ecclesiastes 3:4 it says that there is a time to mourn and a time to dance.
Today I choose to
take action! To declare that my
season of mourning is over! Today I
choose, with total dependence on the one who created me, to take positive
action and dance my way to the finish
line, rather than mentally beating myself up, and I
ask my sisters in Christ to hold me accountable.
Joy comes in the morning and “this is the day that the Lord
hath made, and I will rejoice and be glad in it”!
Kathy Skalabrin
Yea Kathy! So proud of you. You are truly a woman God and HE has great plans for all of us! Thanks for CHOOSING, sharing and being so transparent so we all can find the strenght to do the same. Joy does come in the morning....as HE promises!
ReplyDeleteIvy
Thanks for sharing! Your transparency is refreshing. It's so cool to see how God is working in your life. It's obvious to me you are woman after God's own heart. Keep running towards HIM.
ReplyDeleteI appreciate your encouragement. It is truly a daily journey. Living in the moment. Being conscious of where God is working and what he's trying to say.
ReplyDeleteKathy